Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Dish Fairy Does Some Plumbing

I believe confession is good for the soul...but confessing on your blog is some pretty heavy confession.  Here goes...

I clogged my kitchen sink and I did it really well and completely.  Here's the story....

So, I had noticed that my sink was draining slowly over the past couple of weeks, but I hadn't really thought about it very much.  I'm VERY good at putting things's the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome - worry about it tomorrow.

Then, while I was cooking I heard this "Glug, glug, glug" coming from the sink area.  I remember looking over there.  Did I do anything?  Did it occur to me that anything was wrong?  NO.

Now, here's the strange part.  I was cooking 2 meals for my blog that will be posted later this week, so I was BUSY cooking, taking pictures, chopping, bagging, taking pictures, etc.  and I was in a hurry.  I turned to rinse the skillet with warm water and let the water run while I did something else.  I turned back to turn off the faucet and thought, "why did I put the stopper in?"  The water was gross, tomatoey, greasy, very unpleasant.  So, I stuck my hand in to take out the stopper and .... the stopper was NOT in the hole.  BUT there was 4 inches of gross, tomatoey, greasy water.  Now, I'm trying to be very descriptive here, because at that moment the fact that I have a blog about the dish fairy TOTALLY escaped me and I DID NOT TAKE A PICTURE.  (I know, I heard you gasp.)

So, I thought, "Oh, it will drain...I'll just give it a minute."  I am sorry to say.  It did not drain.

So, I crept out to my husband, who was in his shop, doing some woodworking and very casually said, "Ummm, honey, how do you feel about plumbing?"

Silence, but he did tilt his head and give me THE LOOK.  (you know the one - no description needed)  Then, he made me sweat a little and finally said, "Why?"  (very slowly).

I mumbled and shuffled my feet a little until I finally quickly said, "The sink is clogged, but don't worry it's only one side and you don't need to mess with it right now."  And then I did what any good wife would do.  I left Man Land and returned to the kitchen.  My errand was done.  I had now turned the responsibility over to him.

So, he comes into the kitchen and growls.  My husband loves handyman jobs.  He's  great at construction, remodeling and does electrical work and even made me a dining room table.  But, he HATES plumbing.  With a passion.  That is the only time we hear "shop talk."  Now, this is a G-rated blog, so I won't type any "shop talk."  I'm sure you can use your imagination....

So, I am thinking....he'll pour in some Draino and we will be good.  But, no.  WHILE I am cooking food to take to SOMEONE ELSE, he decides to take apart the plumbing.

He digs around under the sink and with great disgust pulls out a month old hamburger and fries in a take out container.  How do I know how old it is?  It is from Mississippi and we haven't been there since June.  I know exactly who to blame (the child who never takes out the trash, just tries to stuff more in)  and in good human fashion,  I blame the child.

So, I am cooking and blaming and I'm at this critical part of the recipe and he is laying on my floor partway under the cabinet and he is finding trash and he can't put it in the trash because it is full and I have been just stuffing more in.  I realize that this is not good.  It's hard to blame someone else when you are doing the same thing.  So, I do what any good parent does....I yell, "COME TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"

Now, I am cooking, hubby is lying on the floor and my son is taking out the trash and we are all in the same 3 square feet of space and I do the unthinkable...I get mad.  They are in my space (doing things I asked them to do) and I can't finish this meal.  Both of them tilt their head and give me the same look.  (Like father, like son.  Some days, I am not a fan of genetics.)

Then, my husband says, "I'm going to need a bowl."  So, I get the bowl and then hear a whoosh and the waterfall begins under my sink.  Next thing I hear...."I NEED ANOTHER  BOWL!"  Now, we are all existing in the same 3 feet of space and he thinks that I should be able to move faster than the water and grab a bowl and get it down there to him while whisking away the full bowl and spilling not a drop.  Let me just didn't happen that way.  (Here's a little marriage advice...this is NOT the time to say, "Honey, maybe you should have thought ahead and had another bowl handy and ready to go."  Just sayin.)

Now, we need towels.  Notice the plural.  And I'm still cooking.

Finally the water is contained in something other than the pipes and my husband pulls out this:

Yes, that was in my pipe.

 I tend to be very smart about these things and I gulp, but manage to refrain from saying something stupid like "Where did that come from?" 

He just puts the pipes back together.  I just finish cooking.  Michael just takes the trash gets out.  And then, Scot says "This will be good for your blog."

And I realize, he is right and I have taken NO PICTURES.  So, I do what any good blogger would do and dig through the trash to find the gunk so I can take a picture and you can learn what NOT to do.'s the part where I tell you what I should've done.  Evidently cleaning your pipes is pretty easy and cheap.  So....


Pour 1/2 cup of baking soda down your drain, then follow it with 1/2 cup of white vinegar and quickly put the stopper in the drain.  You could also use your hand over the drain if you needed to.  You just want to keep the foamy fizzing stuff in the drain. After the foam stops growing, wait 10 minutes and then pour 1 gallon of boiling water down the drain.

You should do this about once a month.  Who knew that?????

Now, If I were a good experienced blogger, I would've kept that gunk and tested the baking soda and vinegar mixture on it.  Lesson learned. 

Where is that "$&@(#shoptalk&@(#$" Dish Fairy anyway?????

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